My life with lust and pornography took me places I didn’t belong. Porn shops late at night. Massage parlors in the middle of the day. Strip clubs whenever I could afford it. Consumed with lust, strangled by depression, and seasoned with alcohol, I prowled about looking for my next release. Since nine years old, I’ve taken in all forms of visual stimulation, perfected voyeurism, and spent countless hours in a fantasy world of self-abuse. I’ve used pornography in every house I’ve lived in and viewed it on every computer I’ve owned. Lust has stripped away my innocence, warped my perceptions, and separated me from God. Porn has cost me thousands of dollars, millions of minutes, and many relationships. It’s stolen my identity, my drive, and nearly all my hope. It’s polluted my mind, violated my soul, and threatened my marriage.

20 years is a long time to not feel like a human being. It’s a long time to be numb. It’s a long time to wander around in a fog of depression trying to remember what feeling feels like. What joy feels like. What anything feels like. It’s a long time to be nothing. But mostly, it’s a long time to be away from Christ. I love Him so much and I just want Him to hold me and take it all away.

And you know what? In January of 2006, He did.

My name is Ben and welcome to job31one ministries.

If you just read that very short synopsis of my past and wondered how I got inside your head and stole your story, you’re in the right place. If you’re a mature follower of Christ who has given everything in his life over to God, but just can’t shake lust, you’re in the right place. If you have a spouse, brother, parent, friend or pastor struggling with porn, you're in the right place. If you have a problem with porn and only heard about Jesus when your father hit his thumb with a hammer, you too are in the right place.

My past was grim, but it has led me to start this ministry. I don’t want anyone else to suffer what I have. To waste what I have. To waste away to what I became. God allowed me to endure 20 years of mental anguish, physical defilement, and spiritual anorexia in order for me to understand His purpose for my life. Only through the gravity of my sin could I experience the glory of His Son.

WHAT WE ARE

job31one.org is a Christ-centered, non-denominational, Bible-based, God-fearing ministry dedicated to restoring the lives of those tormented by lust and pornography through the power of Jesus Christ. The cornerstone verse for this ministry is Job 31:1 - "I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl."